new year

Schmesolutions

Okay.  So let’s say that my 2015 resolution was to not post a single thing on my blog for the entire year.

Clearly I am awesome at resolutions.  I should be a professional resolutioner.

You’ll be relieved to know that I’ve made zero promises for 2016.  Yeah, I get it, the new year is a pretty great time to get yourself back on track and start some new/good habits, but I tend to end up feeling like crap because I’m back to getting fat and Netflix-binging by February 1.  Or January 3.  [Making of a Murderer is so. good. and you know it.]

I’m not Jewish.  [There’s no good segue into that statement; just bear with me for a second.]  One of my TV binges over the holidays was an Amazon Prime show called Transparent.  If you haven’t watched it, you should.  It’s a pretty emotional show about a Jewish family whose patriarch transitions from male to female and all the things that come with it.  It may not sound like your cup o’ tea, but I promise you’ll come away with some sort of introspection and lesson learned.  Anyway, one of the more poignant scenes this season occurs on the holiday of Rosh Hashana which is the Jewish New Year.  Knowing basically nothing about Judaism, I learned that (and please forgive me, as this is a gross oversimplification taken from pop culture) it’s a time for self-examination and repentance.  So while on a typical [calendar] new year, we’re all over here trying to get skinny and stop cussing, the Jews got it right by wanting to start the spiritual new year with a clean slate: asking for forgiveness and forgiving others.  A little side note: the biblical name for the holiday is actually Yom Teruah which means “day of shouting.”  I’m pretty sure I’m down for a good shouting match, hugging it out, and ending with a big meal with the people I love.

So here’s to a resolution-free new year, a big heaping scoop of forgiveness for all, and maybe a few more blog posts for you in 2016.  Because remember, you asked for it.

Resolution Success!

Resolution Success!

So I’m terrible at drinking water. I’m a child. I just don’t like it. Also, strangely enough, cold water aggravates my asthma (recently diagnosed with adult-onset; still navigating all that fun stuff). But water is SO GOOD for you and I believe in setting attainable resolutions. Eight glasses of water a day? Seems reasonable…

…if you don’t mind peeing every 20 minutes. Really. This is taking some getting used to. I bought a 32oz nalgene water bottle off Amazon (for some reason I feel the need to justify my Prime membership by ordering something at least once a week. Is that weird?) It was around $12 but they also have other sizes for less. I prefer the wide-mouth style because I can put ice in it (if I feel like challenging my asthma to a duel) and it’s easier to fill IMO. I drink two of these a day.

The best thing ever, though is a trick I found on Pinterest. If you write an hourly schedule right on your water bottle, you can more easily pace yourself throughout the day. I keep it on my desk at work and I actually really enjoy keeping up with the schedule. You end up only drinking a few ounces an hour and depending on what time you start, you’ll be finished by 9:00pm. Hopefully you won’t have to get up to pee during the night (because seriously, nothing pisses me off more than waking up to piss). I’ve seen some people who write an AM schedule on one bottle and a PM bottle on a second bottle – that’s dumb. Put it on the same bottle and just fill it up twice.

Verdict: Success! This seems so elementary, but I promise it has made all the difference in achieving my goal. Maybe it’s purely psychosomatic, but after only a week (bite me, I started my resolutions late this year) I swear I feel better.